Let it Go!

We all know that Allah is the most merciful and all forgiving. But how hard is it for us as humans to forgive those who hurt or wrong us. I’m talking about people we care about, not generally. It is so difficult to forgive someone and move forward with our lives. Usually, the one that has been hurt only suffers. By holding on to this resentment and not letting go, it begins to take over their life. The one who has done the hurting usually doesn’t even realise what he/she has done and belittles their actions. On the other hand, the hurting one wastes so much time thinking about what happened and starts hating the other. I’ve learnt that to hate someone you have to first care about them. Such a strong emotion and feeling such as hate requires first to have cared and been deeply affected by their way of treating you or someone else. Therefore, if you hate then you still care! By having this hate in our hearts for anyone is not healthy and will poison our hearts and our minds and stop us from moving forward and forgiving them. It will also affect our relationships with others and how we treat those around us.

Everyone makes mistakes, it is part of the learning process and if we never do anything wrong then how can we better ourselves and those around us? The problem however with erring is when others are involved. When we do something that unintentionally hurts someone we never meant to. In many cases, we eventually realise and apologise and get forgiven. But a lot of times this doesn’t happen and someone has been hurt so badly that they can’t forgive. They spend the rest of their lives angry and so will never succeed. How can we be successful in this life and the hereafter when our hearts are full of hate?

We should learn to forgive whether that person deserves it or not, whether they have apologised or not. This is not for the benefit of them but only for our own advantage. So we can have peace, so we can live our lives fully and so we can meet our lord with a pure heart inshallah. It is not an easy task and requires a strong imaan and a trust in Allah. Ghandi wisely said, ‘The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong’.

We must remember that it is that part of our imaan is to believe in the divine will. That is whatever is going to happen to us has already been written. So the fact that we may have been hurt by someone we care about was meant to happen (that in no way excuses that persons behaviour) but we need to understand that we can’t blame anyone and start thinking ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’. It’s done and in the past. In many occasions we may have got ourselves into situations which we shouldn’t have, which displeased Allah and was against Islam so maybe the pain was from Allah as a way of cleansing our sins or waking us up to our wrong. Other times Allah puts us through trials and someone hurts us without us doing anything. Here is where our character shows. How will we deal with these people… will we wish bad on them and do anything to hurt them back? Or will we still be kind to them, be the better person, forgive them and to move forward? It’s not easy, trust me I know but it is the route of a believer. The path that will take you closer to Allah. You can’t cool a fire with more fire. If you treat them back how they have treated you, they will never learn, and it will be a constant battle of ‘getting even’… and you will never be even. By adopting this frame of mind, it will begin to control and take over your life. It will distract you and stop you from excelling. We don’t want this, we want our life to be only for Allah and based on what he commands and we can’t do this with enmity in our hearts.

Prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him) went through more trials than any of us can imagine. His own brothers left him for dead at the age of six and due to this he became a slave and spent (about) 8 years in prison innocently. However this was all in the plan of Allah and eventually he got power and had the perfect opportunity for revenge over his brothers. But he didn’t even mention the past and he forgave them. He was thankful for everything because he accepted the divine will and knew it was all a test from Allah. Subhanallah how easily he forgave them and how long we hold onto the past!

So don’t let hate and anger control you. Forgiveness is the gift you give to yourself. We do it for no one but ourselves. As long as we are not forgiving them, the longer we are allowing them to control us. You will be constantly looking in the past and wanting explanations and reasons but more often than not, we don’t get the answers we want. We don’t get that closure and things aren’t sorted, so don’t wait for it. Don’t wait for them to apologise but forgive anyway. Don’t even tell them just take that first step in your heart with a pure intention. Forgiveness means you put that thing out of your mind, it’s gone and you can not bring it up again or remind that person of it. Ask Allah for the help and start moving forward. Don’t look back; the goal is in front of you. What’s done is done and nothing you could have done would have avoided it, because Allah willed it. The best thing you can do is learn form it.

The pain makes you stronger and wiser so embrace it. Life is only as tough as you let it be. The more rubbish you go through and the more the ones you care about let you down, the more you turn to your Lord and rely solely on him. The closer you get to him and the more you love him. When you get this feeling, you will see the blessing hidden in that pain and you will thank Allah for putting you through it and giving you the strength to endure it and the easier it will be for you to let go. Forgiveness is the key to freedom so don’t loose it.

May Allah give me and all my brothers and sisters the strength to forgive and forgive us if we have wronged anyone.

Your Sister in Islam x

That Which Doesn't Kill You...

...Can make you or break you. Depending on your character, it doesn’t necessarily make you stronger. There are two types of people. Those who face a problem head on and make the most out of it, trying to learn from it and become a better person. This is very rare and most people are the other type who sit around and wonder what they did to deserve this and complain until the problem goes away.

I’m not saying it’s easy to be the first kind of person and we are all human and naturally respond to situations without thinking. But as Muslims we must think. We must work hard to have a strong character.
Always be in a state of self-analysing and self-evaluation. Whenever something happens to us that we don’t like or that is not according to what we expected then we need to step back and think. Look at the situation through the outside. Think about your actions, your speech and how you have treated those around you. Most importantly analyse your imaan. Have you done something that may have angered Allah? It says in the Quran:

‘All good is from Allah but any misfortune that befalls you is from what your own hands have earned’ (4:79)

Therefore, if you are going through a hard time then it is most likely that you have done something to bring that about. This however is a great blessing from Allah and shows his love for you because when we go through rough times the human instinct is to turn to the heavens and beg Allah for a way out because he knows no being could possibly help him. His whole conduct changes and his worship increases. So Allah, through putting mankind through hardship is a way of calling to them. Giving them the opportunity to turn to him and to analyse there lives and to ask him for forgiveness. Therefore, don’t waste these opportunities that Allah gives you. See the pain as a blessing because through the pain Allah, the most merciful, cleanses our sins. Don’t complain and definitely don’t ask why this and why that. Allah doesn’t burden anyone greater than they have the strength to bear so He knows you’re strong enough and through his love and protection for us he keeps sending us messages and signs to give us the opportunity to cleanse our sins and get closer to Him. Subhanallah!

This religion is easy when you see the beauty in it and when you understand that all good and all bad in your life is a blessing. Then isn’t the pain worth it? Allah never gives up on us so don’t give up on yourself. He wants the best for us but we have to want that for ourselves. How we can expect good from anyone when we don’t even try. If you don’t want to change them no one can help you and those who care about you will eventually give up on you but Allah never will. No matter how many mistakes you have made and how much you have sinned Allah promises his forgiveness. He will send you signs in the most amazing ways but if we have no imaan and have our eyes closed then we will miss them, then who knows if we will get another chance at getting closer to him?

Allah the Almighty has said: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its.”

Amazing...gives me chills! Remember the devil, he despaired of Allah’s mercy when he sinned he was too arrogant to ask for forgiveness so is cursed for eternity. Many people today have this same attitude. They think it is too late to ask for forgiveness when Allah keeps reminding us that he is the most forgiving. He forgave a man who had killed 100 people! Have we done more sin than that! Ensure you don’t adopt this satanic arrogance and ask now because we don’t know when our time will be up. Dua is the weapon of the believer. Nothing you may have done or are doing is beyond Allah’s mercy inshallah. Acknowledgment is the key! However, we have to repent sincerely and can’t keep making the same mistakes and expect forgiveness, because that is wrong. We have to repent and do our utmost to leave that sin.

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your past, they have no right, and if they do then forget them. If Allah forgives all sins then who are we to hold people to their mistakes once they have asked for forgiveness. The last thing we need in our lives are people around us who constantly bring up the past and judge us because of it. Keep the company who will remind you of the good in you and encourage you in your Deen. These people are your true friends as they take you closer to Allah and not further from him. The three characteristics of a good friend are one who:

• When you see them, they remind you of Allah
• Their way of life will guide you the right path
• Their speech will increase your imaan
  [Great description from Sheikh Alaa Elsayed ;-)]

Two people who will be under the shade of Allah on the day where there is no shade are two people who loved each other purely for Allah’s sake. Our imaan fluctuates but with this true friend, you will remind them when they are weak and they will remind you when you are weak! Inshallah we all love someone for that reason alone and if we don’t then inshallah we find someone who we can, so we can help each other get closer to our lord and live eternally in peace in the hereafter.

So if you are going through hardship analyse your life think of what you have done to bring this about I guarantee you will find something, we sin day and night without even realising. Allah is opening a way for you so don’t close it or let it pass you by.

Your Sister in Islam x

'I'd Prefer a Broken Neck to Another Broken Heart'

Amazing and heart moving poem by Amir Sulaiman

The Real Diamond

If you had a beautiful, shiny diamond, how would you take care of it? Would you run around the street showing it off to everyone or flaunt it about? Only if you were crazy right? The sane person would take great care of his expensive stone and make sure no one got their hands on it. Making sure it was safe and protected at all times and if he had to take it out from its haven, he would wrap it up tight and hide it from everyone, because we see how people fight over wealth.

In Islam women are seen like these valuable, precious and rare stones. And our hijab is our protection and cover from society. You would only show your diamond to those you loved and trusted dearly and this is how Muslim sisters are. We are only to be seen by those dear to us, those who we trust and know won’t hurt us. This is all in Allah’s love and mercy for us. No matter how independent a woman may be, she still loves to be taken care of and cherished and that is an innate feeling, and how Allah has created us. So who better than our creator to ensure we get this love and are not mistreated? He has set these guidelines in place, not to oppress or make things difficult for us but for our own benefit and to make things easier for us. If we follow these guidelines and understand the wisdom behind the hijab then we will be protected. We will not have to deal with being hurt or abused by men. We won’t get into relationships where we are unappreciated or treated disrespectfully. And we will never be in a situation where we are left with a baby and an unknown father or one who doesn’t care.

The hijab is liberation and independence. Freedom of speech and freedom of choice is spoken about freely when it comes to every other matter but when a Muslim woman wants to cover, we can’t even defend ourselves. If a woman can walk around virtually naked or dressed in the punk fashion or any other fashion, she ‘is free’. A nun can walk around covered and no one would dare speak up but when a Muslim woman wants to cover and dress modestly, everyone has a say and she is ‘oppressed’. Where is the sense in that? Most non-Muslims don’t understand the role and liberation of women in Islam. Before this perfect religion, women had no rights. They were mistreated by society and sold into slavery and prostitution. However, Allah removed all this real oppression and gave women roles and rights in society. The right to work, to have an education, to own property, and the right to her own wealth (which is solely hers). She also has the right to a husband to provide for her and the freedom to choose him. However, these things are forgotten and in many cases, it is our own fault, as we don’t know the history of our religion and the beauty and perfection within it. But worst of all we don’t defend it. Is it that we are ashamed or just don’t know?

There is nothing to be ashamed. Allah has completed this Deen for us for our sake. For our benefit and for our protection. He knows women are fragile and emotional and therefore he has also ensured that this is not abused by anyone. Just as non-Muslim women can dress how they want so should we. The hijab is our identity and our protection and most of all our freedom of choice. And by the way which Muslim actually finds the cross offensive? This is rubbish that they make up themselves so that they can attack our religion and things that represent it. If I want to freely practice my religion then so should everyone else! Islam teaches respect for others and opposite to the misguided belief, Islam does promote peace. Anyone who is not doing this is going against the teaching of Islam and will be accountable.

So if you wear Hijab remember why. We are only hear to worship and please Allah, if we correct our intention we will be rewarded every time we put it on inshallah. If you are a girl who wears hijab but dresses immodestly, remember the reason of the hijab. It is here to hide our beauty from those who may harm us and to protect us so wear it properly inshallah, we are diamonds so care for yourself as you would your diamond. And if you are a sister who doesn’t wear hijab then may Allah increase you imaan and give you the strength to follow this command inshallah.

Your Sister in Islam x

Dirty Money

Imagine this... You wake up and go to work, you have an easy job and you’re out all day working. At the end of the day, you get paid, but instead of just money, you also get a filthy swine. It follows you home and it runs around your house with you. Then when its time to eat you put it on the table and let all your family eat from it. You do this day after day. Anything you buy, from foods to clothes comes with another filthy swine that follows you 24/7 and whenever you are hungry you eat it! Disgusting right? I feel sick writing about it but it needs to be addressed so that’s what I’m going to do.
You would never work in a job that caused this repulsive effect nor would you want a member of your family to work in this kind of job because it would still affect your life. I know its gross but it is no way extreme. It is just a metaphor to describe the earning of a haram (forbidden and unlawful) income. There are so many people out there and around us getting quick and easy money in this way. Sadly, it is very common with our own Muslim brothers in our own community. Some examples of haram income include any money derived from:

· selling drugs or alcohol
· selling stolen goods
· fraud and cheating
· gambling
· claiming benefits through lying

The first one is too widespread and comes hand in hand with a life of crime. They know it is wrong, yet they shrug it off and make up sorry excuses about how hard life is and how it’s the only way. Balls to your excuses! Be a man…this life is a test and wealth is a test. Some people are given a lot of money and that is a test to see how they will spend it; others are not given as much to see if they are patient or if they will become weak and resort to haram means of income. Many people can’t find a job so give up easily and are caught up in this lifestyle. How are you going to use these lame excuses in front of your Lord? He gives us so much so how are we so ungrateful and how can we complain. Make dua; work hard no matter what job it is just make sure your money is halal. Only then will you see blessing in your wealth. Look at the quality, not the quantity. A man who works hard all day to provide for his family will have his past sins forgiven. A pound made honestly is blessed and worthy on the scale. We will not be judged by our worldly possessions.

There is no blessing in haram money only an abundance of sin that makes your whole life haram. Even if you are earning part halal, the haram money you earn causes the whole batch to be poisoned. Any food you eat that has been brought with this is then haram for you. Imagine, the swine! We wouldn’t eat a hamburger and we check ingredients for gelatine and the ‘V’ sign militantly but so easily do these people buy food and provisions for themselves and even worse their families! No prayers accepted, no acts of worship accepted. Then they have the nerve to complain about their lives and become angry. Always analyse your behaviour, Allah may be sending you a message or a reminder.

Do you wonder why these people go back repeatedly to this lifestyle? It is because their lives are empty. Their purpose of life is forgotten and they are only interested in pleasing people and selfishly thinking about themselves and this life. Although many will tell you they love Allah, some even pray but they use Him as a way of making them feel settled and balanced about their way of life. Allah doesn’t need our worship, we need the obedience for our own benefit.

Know your only purpose as a Muslim; to worship Allah, Lord of the universe. If you turn to him completely and sincerely and ask for his support and protection, he WILL help you. Purify your goal; having money is only a search for materialistic things, for worldly benefits. Just think of our own beloved prophet (s). He married his own daughter to the poorest man in the city! Because of his imaan. Do these people think they are better than him! Allah says even if you are poor, still get married and he will provide for you. It is sinful not to have children because of fear of poverty. Allah says he will provide for us. Alhamdulillah! How can we complain? This world will end and then you will have nothing unless you have thought about your hereafter and sent good deeds ahead. We all know its coming, don’t shake it off and never forget. Your goal should be Paradise, not a Bentley! An eternity of peace and harmony. Just sit back and think about Jannah. Close your eyes and really try to picture it (Although it will still be so much more beautiful than your mind can comprehend). Subhanallah! Allah has made it easy. If you are suffering or going through hardship and you are patient, Allah will reward you and expiate your sins through your pain.

‘Verily after hardship comes ease’

Do not forget this and don’t let your brothers forget this because even one pound of haram will ruin you. If you are involved in this life or know someone who is, then remind them and explain this to them. Look at what you have and remember we are blessed compared to millions of our Muslims suffering in the third world. Allah knows what you conceal and what you reveal so don’t think you can fool Him and don’t think any excuse you may be making will be worthy on that day. Ask sincerely for repentance and guidance. Don’t despair because Allah forgives all sins. Don’t fear people because they will never care about you no matter how much you do for them. Fear Allah alone and you will be successful in both this life and the next Inshallah.

May Allah guide our youth so that they may understand and come away from this life and may he bless us with halal provisions.

Your Sister in Islam x